Illusion of Control

I've decided that we all carry this illusion around with us on a daily basis.  We think that we have security because we have food in the fridge, money in the bank, a bed to go home to, or any number of other small comforts that we have.  For myself, I'm realizing that this illusion of control has been the fact that I have a job.  You see, right now, I don't have a job for sure.  It's been making me very nervous.  Every day I have to wake up and make a decision not to freak out.

But I've been realizing some great things about God and who He is during this time.  Things that I already know, I've been learning since pre-Sunday School days, but that I don't often meditate on or live in the middle of.  Things like, "My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do."  Or like, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'"  I have been reminding myself that God doesn't make mistakes, He is perfect.  I'm reminding myself that I am called to an eternal purpose that doesn't depend on a paycheck.  I'm sitting in the truth that my worth in this crazy busy society doesn't depend upon the fact that I get up and punch a timecard from nine to five.

So, as I sit and wait for Him to open up the next step, I'm trying to remember that it's not in my hands.  Not only that, it never was.  I am attempting to pull back the illusion of my own control and see the truth, that my life is in the hand of an amazingly powerful God who knows what's best for me in an eternal sense, far beyond what I could hope or imagine.  

"He gathers the water of the sea into jars..."

Psalm 33

 ¹ Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
   it is fitting for the upright to praise him.
² Praise the LORD with the harp;
   make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.
³ Sing to him a new song;
   play skillfully, and shout for joy. ⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
   he is faithful in all he does.
⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
   the earth is full of his unfailing love.
 ⁶ By the word of the LORD the heavens were made,
   their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars^[a];
   he puts the deep into storehouses.
⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
   let all the people of the world revere him.
⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;
   he commanded, and it stood firm.
 ¹⁰ The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
   he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
¹¹ But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
   the purposes of his heart through all generations.
 ¹² Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
   the people he chose for his inheritance.
¹³ From heaven the LORD looks down
   and sees all mankind;
¹⁴ from his dwelling place he watches
   all who live on earth—
¹⁵ he who forms the hearts of all,
   who considers everything they do.
 ¹⁶ No king is saved by the size of his army;
   no warrior escapes by his great strength.
¹⁷ A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
   despite all its great strength it cannot save.
¹⁸ But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
   on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
¹⁹ to deliver them from death
   and keep them alive in famine.
 ²⁰ We wait in hope for the LORD;
   he is our help and our shield.
²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
   for we trust in his holy name.
²² May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
   even as we put our hope in you.